I was recently introduced by my friend Lisa to a dish that deserves its own fan page: The Pizza Salad. At first, I was a bit skeptical. Sounds like some dude took a massive hit off a bong and thought, “hey man, I’m like totally jonesin’ for some pizza, but like, I’m gonna make it healthy and stuff, and put a salad on top. It’s like a taco salad, but, like, it’s pizza instead…and stuff.”
Pizza and a salad mixed into one? It sounds like an oxymoron. It’s like the “Victor Victoria” of pizzas (Am I a pizza or a salad? I’m so confused!) But I tried it…and frankly, it gave me tingles in my no-no place. It was so kick-ass that I’d probably give it as a gift. I’d call it a “stomach present.” No, John, this isn’t a present for YOU, it’s a present for that little guy [point at and tickle stomach].
What exactly is this she-male of the culinary world, you ask? Well, the place we go (Parisi on 44th and Tennyson) has several variations, but I always get the classic one. These people are pizza architects. Their houses are probably built out of pizza dough and happiness. Basically, they take pizza dough, cover it in cheese, bake it in the special pizza oven (these should come standard in all homes, in my humble, but very important opinion) until it’s just a bit underdone. Then it’s topped with a salad of lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, capers, onions and whole bunch of other goodness all tossed in creamy Caesar dressing. Then, they fold it over like it’s a massive taco, cut it into a few pieces and there you have it. Pizza Fuckin’ Salad.
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| No, that's not NYC-style pizza folded over - that's Pizza Salad, bitches! |
Some highbrow foodies may consider it the red-headed stepchild of restaurant fare, which is absolutely fine with me. Their ignorance is my gain, because I’m pretty sure Pizza Salad is a superfood, which will keep me busy being awesome while they fatten up on foie gras and hatred.
So, long story short, while Pizza Salad might sound like the Chastity Bono of meals, this is a meal you’d actually WANT to eat.
This is the most glorious thing I have ever seen. Promise to take me here when I come to visit.
ReplyDeleteeffing hilarious! are you drunk when you write this shit, or are you just that fucking hilarious. If memory serves me correct it's the latter. Love the blog.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. It makes me want to genetically engineer other bi-curious foods. PBJ dogs, soup tacos and jello burgers for everyone!
ReplyDeleteHilarious. Was dying during the second paragraph. Also, I am no stranger to the pizza salad. I actually make my own. It's sort of healthy, so it's definitely not as fun. Also, I can't origami my pizza, so I use utensils.
ReplyDeleteDanielle - I will absolutely take you to Parisi. It is "change your panties" good. Nicolas - I wrote this over lunch. But some of these have been written while having a few. I'll never tell which ones...Adam, as my dad always says: "don't be shy, be bi." Go ahead and engineer that food and I'll be your first taste-tester. And Rachel -- I tried to make my own, but it didn't fold and was too thick and not the same. But I applaud you, lady!
ReplyDeleteHow well does this travel? Can you FedEx a slice to me? Throw in a DVR (my third ViP722 is dying) and we can call it a business expense.
ReplyDeleteChris -- it wouldn't travel well at all. I recommend you try a version made by Rachel :). Or you can get your ass to Denver! As far as the 722, send me an email and we'll get it fixed!
ReplyDeleteRachel is in Boston and that's also a little far to deliver Pizza salad. But I am intrigued...
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