Chocolate Anemia

At the office, there is a ton of food (read: chocolate) from Halloween through Easter. But come summer, everyone is all about getting bikini-ready and spurning what I consider to be the quintessential reason we’re on this earth: to eat chocolate. Oh, and bring about world peace. So, when someone brings in extra delicious chocolate in June, I eye it like a conquest…and then I conquer.

Today was one of those days. I’m what you’d call a chocolate zealot. Addict is probably more appropriate. If you see me uncharacteristically sweating, having intimate conversations with inanimate objects, NOT buying a pair of cute shoes, or arguing for a relaxed dress code at work that includes Zoobas, I’m experiencing chocolate anemia. And the only prescription for chocolate anemia is…you guessed it: chocolate.

So, when suffering from this debilitating malady and a coworker brings in a bag of Dove’s Bliss Crème de Menthe Meltaway chocolates (say that five times fast…with them in your mouth), you bet your sweet, sugary ass I’m digging in. Hard. And fast. I counted the wrappers: 10, not including the fortuitous donation of a mini Mr. Goodbar by our legal department (it’s so good, it should be illegal…queue sympathy bad joke laughter).

Notice the beautiful backdrop of the stapler and tape. I should be a food stylist.

That Dove Bliss in the background? In my belly.

Sure, it’s a lot, but hey, it’s summer chocolate hibernation mode. Need to build up enough chocolate antibodies in my system to persevere through the rest of the Season of Chocolate Dearth at the office. Granted, it may give me some added cushion, but hell, I need it anyway to weather the food storm that is coming all summer long. Mwah-ah-ah-ah-ah.